I start this post with “Bis’millahi’rahmaan’hi’raheem” (In the Name of Allah, The Most Kind, The Most Merciful). We are taught as Muslims that everything we do we should start by saying “Bismillah”.For every action we do starting in His Glorious name will be one of worship for which we will be rewarded simply for remembering Him. Before continuing and sharing my story on how I started wearing the Hijab. I pray that Allah places it in the heart of the reader to be inspired by this blog to take the first step in wearing Hijab for the Sake of Allah. With Honour dignity and confidence.
My hijab journey begun from as early as Nine years old. I was born and raised into a religiously strict family. Majority of my Family went on to Study Islamic studies and our upbringing was one of a firm Islamic foundation. My Father who studied the Quran from as early at 7 Years old strived to instil the necessity of wearing Hijab from a very young age, as this is the responsibility of a Father – as the leader of the Home, a responsibility given to them by Allah. Although I wore it from a young age I did not always wear it confidently with pride, the reason for this was because I never truly understood why I needed to do it or what the reason behind it is, and as a result during my childhood there were days I would hide my hijab in my school bag out of fear of being called names. Sometimes I would wear a cap over it so that it would not easily be recognized. I could not understand why I needed to wear something every day that I never even understood in the first place. I made the decision in Grade 7 to go on to study at an Islamic high school because I wanted to fit in, I did not want to feel different or have to hide my hijab ever again. I wanted to find the circle in which I belong, and be surrounded by my type of people.
It ended up being the best decision I could have ever made for myself. Not only, did I become a Hijabi, but I became a confident one, and have been for the past 10 years Alhamdullilah. Since then I have worn it every single day with confidence. I have never felt the need to be ashamed or remove it for anyone since then. My Hijab never stood in the way of me pursing my career goals or establishing my business. With the grace of Allah I still follow my dreams with the confidence to wear it for Allah’s sake. Today, it represents who I ‘am. It reflects my Identity and without it a part of me is non-existent. The part of me that took 10 years to build. So, the big question is…. How did all of this happen? When was the turning point in my life when my fear of my hijab became the love for it, how exactly did I gain the confidence wearing it, and how do I still keep walking with it as my crown and shield in every single place I go. The answers to all of these questions are simple, I implemented the Five steps below. Alhamdullilah
I believe that If it worked for me it can for you as well, but first thing is first. Before partaking on this journey of evolving into this new you, I ought to remind you that…Becoming different, or doing something different is Change and change is hard. Becoming a better version of yourself is hard, transforming into something new does not happen overnight and does not stop becoming challenging. I would be lying if I were to say that this journey has no challenges and will be an easy one. For this Change to happen you need to be willing to Jump from your comfort zone. You will never experience the joy of change if you only stand on the cliff looking down but never jump. By jumping you will be able to open your parasite and fly, and yes you may encounter some knocks along the way, some bleeds, or some pain but at the end it will all be worth it because No great things comes easy. It was not easy for the Most beloved creation of Allah Nabi Muhammad PBUH so it definitely won’t be easy for you and I or anyone else striving either. The key is to want to change badly enough for the better of your Aakhirah and to stay committed to it however hard it may be or become. The steps I’m about to give you below are simple and straight to the point, but it will only work if you actually take the steps, Like I said if you actually Jump right into it and put it into action and be consistent in your practise. Think of this as an antibiotic with a 7-day consistent prescription every dose is essential. Do you know what they say about 40 days? if you want to make something a habit do it for 40 days continuously but bear in mind it doesn’t stop there. With having said that let’s get right into it….
MAKE AN INTENTION
Start by doing the most important thing which is to assert your Intention. With every action we wish to start we should always make an intention at the beginning. Our intentions should always be pure. For every action done other than for the Sake of Allah, eventually comes to an end and over time fades. Ask yourself these questions to give you a clear idea of what your intentions are:
– Why do you want to wear the Hijab?
– What will it mean to you being a Hijabi?
– Are you doing it for worldly gain or for the Sake of Allah’s pleasure?
Review your answers and every single day when you put your hijab on make sure your answers are positively directing to Allah. With intentions it does not only stop there, there is something called intention check. One’s intention can deviate if we do not keep in touch as Shaytaan loves using deen to destroy deen. Therefore, intention check is very important, Checking your intentions all the time, every time is essential and here is why…
Not too long ago, I read an article in a well know newspaper of an individual who is extremely wealthy. This individual actually comes from a very poor background and married into a family of wealth. Coming from poverty, one often wants to make a difference in the world of those struggling. So, this person decided to invest in their Aakhirah. The individual looked for community organizations to sponsor purely for the sake of making a difference in others’ lives and purely for reward in the Here-after. Some of the Organizations Were Islamic Schools, Youth clubs and burial services in underprivileged communities etc… These project with Allah’s infinite Greatness started developing and overtime growing, her rewards was accumulating by Allah and it was truly changing people’s lives. Eventually, the individual grew tired or perhaps greedy and started yearning for something in return, she then started by requesting 30% share of each of these projects. Which ultimately was changing charity into an Investment and business deal. There is a Quranic Ayah where Allah says: “Whoever desires the reward of the Hereafter, we will give him an increase in rewards, but whomsoever desires the rewards in this world, we will give him thereof, but he will have no portion in the Here-after’ – [42:20]
This individual’s choice was to take her rewards in the world, these organizations could not do anything except for agree. After all, it was her wealth but then, after which was not a long time, the individual grew even greedier and wanted more. She then went on to demand 51%. But when this request could not be agreed to She demanded either it be accepted or she wants all her money to be paid back and all her charitable goods must too be given back which was ultimately forcing the other parties who worked day in and day out to actually make the projects successful into an agreement. This is such a sad story, When I read it I only prayed that Allah does not refuse my wealth for good as he did hers. After all, everything we own in the world is temporarily and belongs to none other than Allah. Allah does not need us, nor does he need our wealth. When we are faced with the opportunity to give charity even in the slightest form we should not feel that by giving we are doing the receivers a favour. For Allah is the one doing us a favour because out of the millions of people whom Allah could have used and chosen to give Charity He chose you. This story is just an example on why intention check is important and also How Shaytaan can use Deen to destroy deen. Which mean use our good deeds to eventually bring us destruction.
What we do not want is to start out by wearing The Hijab purely for the pleasure of Allah, and then soon end up wearing it for fashionable purposes or because we having a bad hair day. This defeats the purpose, and on the day of Qiyaamah when we stand before Allah expecting our rewards, find that there are none because of our incorrect intentions.
Make it a part of your daily routine to Intention check. The best way I incorporated this into my routine was by pasting a note on my mirror that I would often look in when getting dressed. The note stated my Intentions and every day when putting it on I would look in the mirror and I would read it out loud, it was somewhat like manifesting and it truly worked, because it becomes imbedded in my subconscious mind each day and forces me to question myself.
LEARN ABOUT THE ADVANTAGES
As Human Beings we always have the imbed questions in our minds, But why? Why should we do anything if we don’t understand why we are doing it?
Why should I go to work if I don’t know what my Salary will be at the end of the Month, or what Job Title I ‘am applying for, or who I’m even doing it for? These questions give us an Idea of what we are doing and why we are doing them, and even if everyone around us question and does not understand our reason at least we do, and that is enough to keep us going. Like I mentioned in the beginning, I wore my Hijab from the age of Nine, but because I did not know the rewards or reasons back then I felt ashamed of it. after all, I couldn’t proudly defend myself against bullies and say with pride why I’m wearing it if I didn’t even have the slightest idea on why I did. So side note to parents and teachers, be careful of enforcing things on your children because you think that they are too young to understand or they don’t need an explanation, if they are too young to understand the reason for doing something they should be too young to be enforced to do it. Being a Mother of Four Toddlers, believe me when I say you will be surprised how much a child would understand if you actually took the time to explain to a child the why’s on certain things. Like, why do we fast during Ramadhan, why we can’t celebrate Christmas or why a pork sand which is Haraam. Yes, it can be exhausting to answer all their why’s all the time but knowledge is power and it’s our duty as parents and teachers to empower them with it. Sit down and explain and stop using fear as a driving tool to make kids do things for fear promotes anger while love promotes wisdom.
Allah has given us an entire Book on laws, and we know the benefits of following them. Imagine if we were just told to follow them, without lessons or explanations and no reasoning or not knowing about Jannah. What would be the reason or driving inspiration of any of us doing Ibaadah, being kind, or doing good in this world at all. Allah Himself humbles Himself to explain and tell us, so we as parents needs to extend the same courtesy to our children. Read and Understand the advantages of wearing the Hijab HERE, and you will ultimately fall in love with it. When you understand that it is a Crown and shield, you would never feel ashamed, shy or embarrassed to wear it again.
TAKE SMALL CONSISTENT STEPS
The size of change you make does not matter, remember you are making a change and that is what matters. Set small measurable goals and stay consistent on them. Our Beloved Prophet PBUH says it so beautifully in his Hadith “Do good deeds only as much as you are able to, for the best deeds are those done regularly even if its small”. Sunan Ibn Majah 4240. From this Hadith we learn using the example of – giving charity to someone everyday even if it’s a R1 is better than giving someone a R1000 once in your life and never again. Consistent ibaadah creates habits, habits create personality and personality is who you are in every fibre of your being.
Start by taking a small step that is manageable for you and do it regularly, if for example you can wear an imperfectly draped Hijab every single day and incorporate it as something permanently, or you can wear a full proper hijab but only once in a while, my advice would be to rather choose wearing the imperfectly draped hijab even if your awrah is not fully covered. Because if you do something daily it holds more value than doing something inconsistently. By wearing it only once in a while you are not evolving, you are only moving backwards, the forward and then backwards again. As you evolve with the small step of an imperfectly draped hijab you will soon evolve and improve over time for It allows you to move only forward and not backwards. covering more of your ourah, will eventually become easier over time. But make a decision on where you’ll start and do that one thing simultaneously and great, rather than trying to do everything at once and then overwhelm yourself by it all which might lead giving up and leaving everything.
SURROUND YOURSELF WITH HIJABI’S
Surround yourself with other Women who wear the Hijab. There is no secret that “a birds of a feather flocks together”, and that who and what you surround yourself with says a great deal on who we are. Again the words of prophet PBUH addresses it most beautifully when he said “If you want to know a man, look at his friends”. The associations you keep has an impact on who you become and a reflection on who are. Looking back at my story of joining an Islamic school, not only did it make me feel blended in but it made me become even more confident in wearing it because my flock always served as a reminder and inspiration. The key to doing something great is to find the person/s who has already done it, and then take them as your closest friend/s, soon you will find yourself on the same level of confidence as they are. If this principal applies to wealth It most certainly applies to every other personal development one intends to make.
I’ am not saying cut out those who are not wearing the Hijab, I’ am simply saying don’t make them your closest companions for the time being while you are climbing this ladder of change, because at the beginning stage of climbing the ladder of change one is fragile and susceptible to influence. You need individuals who is already on top to pull you up. Once you’ve gotten there, you are then in the position to pull up others trying to climb that ladder too, or you can be a source of inspiration for them. The mistake that most people make is that they want to save people from drowning when they themselves can barely swim, first learn how to swim, become a confident swimmer and then go out and help people.
We cannot help others if we are not strong enough to help ourselves.
START A HIJAB COLLECTION
The best way to start wearing something Is to actually see it in your closet, or by making up outfits that are easy for you to grab and style it with. When I think about how many things in the back of my closet I don’t wear simply because I don’t see it all the time I realize that I have quite a few pieces I have forgotten about. Start off by creating a space in your closet for all your hijabs and slowly build a collection of it with colours that matches the outfits you presently have. If you are looking for the best quality and affordable hijabs SHOP HERE.
N.B, Remember, wearing the Hijab is an honour. It is your crown given to you by Allah. Don’t lose hope when those closest to you judge, or make fun of you. Your duty is to Allah and not to them. Make Duaa that Allah uses you to guide them. Follow these steps on a daily basis with the two most important C’s consistency and commitment, those two are the secret ingredients to make this recipe work.
- Consistency- allows you to build a new personnel. Which will develop into habits and eventually you will reach there.
- Commitment- allows you to continue on the journey not only when it is easy to do so but regardless of how difficult the journey may become. Even if you are thrown into a room of negative people pushing you to take it off, or even if you are tempted by going to a special gathering that requires you to remove, it or even if you wake up one morning and feel you are tired of the journey, you will not STOP or give up because you are committed, and that is what commitment in a nutshell is which is what it takes to become the Confident Hijabi that aspire to be.
I hope this Blog Inspired you to take up the decision to wear The Hijab by following these steps and I wish you all the best for your Hijab journey. If you would like to share your story and connect with me or my team, I would love to hear back from you. You may Email us on Info@alhayadesigns.co.za
Best Wishes Always, Your sister in Islam
-Tayyibah Abrahams
GLOSSARY
| Bis’millah-Hir-Rahmaan-Hir-Raheem | An Arabic phrase meaning “In The Name Of Allah The Most Kind, The Most Merciful”. |
| Alhamdullilah | An Arabic phrase meaning “All praise is due to Allah” |
| Hijab | A head covering that is prescribed for Muslim Women to wear in public. |
| Hijabi | A woman that wears the Hijab |
| Nabi | Prophet |
| Aakhirah | Life after Death/ Here-after |
| Shaytaan | Devil/Satan |
| Deen | Religion |
| Qiyaamah | The Day Of resurrection |
| Ibaadah | Worship |
| Awrah | Intimate body parts that is impermissible to be displayed in public |
| Duaa | Prayer |